18 - From Coldplay to Core Values: A Schmactors Redemption Arc

In this episode of Schmactors, James and Mark crack open a fresh six-pack of emotional baggage and Red Bull to revisit James’ Buffy-era fitness routine—spoiler alert: it involved starvation, rollerblading disasters, and enough sugar to trigger a Canadian health minister.

But it doesn’t stop there. The guys detour into tragic photography gigs, baby handling on British TV sets, and the unspoken truth about producing: most scripts are bad, and even actors don’t trust actors with money. There’s a whole segment on the emotional chaos of trying to get films made as a “nobody with a dream”—and why they now prefer just showing up to play.

Also on deck: spike thirst traps, puppy thirst traps (not like that, Mark clarifies), piggyback crushes, and the surprisingly wise words of Mark’s kid Jackson, who’s clearly the only one with moral clarity or a functioning heart. James cries to Coldplay, Mark’s gym teacher steals his girlfriend, and somewhere in there, they almost redefine what it means to be a good person.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠schmactors.com ⁠⁠— leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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