15 - Stage Kisses, Broken Noses, and the Ophthalmologist Conundrum

In this episode of Schmactors , James and Mark go from superhero vision exams to existential midlife meltdowns in under 40 minutes. First up: can Clark Kent’s ophthalmologist really be fooled by a pair of glasses? The guys spiral into Superman’s colonoscopy cover stories, locker room etiquette, and how lying to protect a secret identity might actually destroy your soul.

Then it’s on to the art of on-screen kissing —who’s the better smoocher: John Barrowman or Sarah Michelle Gellar? James unpacks the awkward dance of “fake hot” lip-locks, nose-smashing dangers, and the day he literally bit a co-star on set.

Things get real when the boys take on plastic surgery in Hollywood , the brutal shelf life of actors, and what it means to age when your face is your product. And finally, they dive headfirst into a listener’s question about life satisfaction , delivering raw confessions about regret, reinvention, and the ultimate legacy of being a decent human.

It’s vulnerable. It’s ridiculous. It’s Schmactors at its most human .

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠ schmactors.com ⁠⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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